Being in a wedding party can involve a lot of responsibility and expense, especially for the honor attendants (best man and maid of honor). Bear this in mind when asking; make sure all parties involved know up front what you are expecting of them. To give everyone ample time to plan, ask your attendants not long after you start the actual planning of your wedding.  Ask your friends/family in a manner that allows for them to decline gracefully if they feel that they, for whatever reason, are not up to the task.

If anyone is unable to afford the cost of their formal wear, hotel room, or travel, you might delicately offer to help out if possible.

Whatever you decide, DON’T:

  • Feel you must choose an equal number of men and women.  You may be unable to comfortably trim your number and your fiancée may not be able to add anyone in or vice versa.
  • Feel obligated to ask someone to be in your wedding just because you were in theirs.
  • Feel pressured to ask your cousin Gerty just because your mom thinks you should…this is YOUR wedding!
  • Feel that you have to have anyone up with you.  If you would simply like for it to be you and your husband at the altar- PERFECT!
  • Choose people that you can only handle in small doses…you’ll be spending a lot of time with some of these people in the upcoming months!